My Open Self

The subject of my final self portrait is my interests and the implementation of my newly acquired skills throughout the semester. I'm always very reserved which is why I decided to take an approach which explores my interests and also why I composed a self portrait with so much varying detail. I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and experiment with the different mediums I had at hand rather than just draw or paint my self portrait. If it isn't already clear, I took inspiration from Mickalene Thomas; specifically her use of fabric and patterns in her work. I decided to implement her use of fabrics into my self portrait to cover up many of the blank spaces and add more content to the piece.

Since I'm more confident of my drawing skills than my painting skills I decided that I would sketch my face out on a large sheet of canvas paper. The sketch helped represent the fact that I like drawing and it accurately represented my skill level; at the same time however, I was debating whether I should implement painting elements into the sketch which is why I had everything done on canvas paper. I was originally thinking of painting onto the sketch with soft, possibly dull tones but I also had a completely different idea of using bright colors. There were a lot of clashing ideas like adding dabs of paint randomly onto my sketch, or using thin lines of paint to run throughout the entire self portrait, similar to the way I cut my sketch into different parts. Another hard decision to make was what to do with the blank space that was left around the sketch. I didn't want to paint a background but I still wanted to implement some color into the piece because if I didn't then my self portrait would be a dull black and white.

I didn't want my self portrait to convey a negative or depressing mood which is why I started to think of other ways to add color. I began brainstorming ideas such as cutting out paper from newspapers, magazines, or printouts and taping or gluing them onto the canvas. I wasn't sure if I wanted the self portrait to come off as messy or neat so the material to cover up the canvas sheet was hard to decide on. Ultimately I decided to glue fabric on because I've worked with fabric this semester and prior although I didn't get to sew any of it on which was one of my goals for this assignment because I've had to learn sewing for my painting class and I wanted to implement another one of my skills in this assignment. Moving on though, I chose these specific pieces of fabric because I wanted the color tones to be light and also contrasting. I wanted something that struck the viewer and caught their attention which is also why I used different fabrics rather than just 1.

Something I believe was really important to show in my work was my face being broken apart because I wanted to give the impression that I was being taken apart and analyzed. That's why I placed the spaceships flying out from under me and the dragon popping out of my hair, I wanted it to appear as though some things that were hidden about me before were finally coming out. The cardboard was just used as a support but I didn't want to leave it a bland brown so I painted it black in order to implement another of my skills, painting. I also thought it would be striking against everything else because it would sort of ground everything else with this heavy dark contrast, it acted like a base.

I feel like there has been some major improvement between my final self portrait in comparison to my midterms self portrait because this self portrait makes me push my limits more, I implemented different elements of collage and I feel like this one wasn't as personal as the last project but definitely easier to read. The 1st self portrait I did felt very chaotic and a bit too strong in comparison to this one, it felt like there was too much going on. That's why in my final self portrait I didn't add as much content and I went for a more down to earth design. I was motivated to make a lot of these changes because I wasn't completely satisfied with my first self portrait. My first self portrait was nearly all painting and barely any elements of collage and I wanted to make something that was easier on my eyes. This self portrait feels like it satisfies all the changes I wanted to make and I can see more of myself.

Media has a heavy influence on identity and self presentation because people are easily persuaded and the media presents itself in many ways, shapes and form all around us. The media has taught us many things, one being manners, and another being self awareness. By providing us, the viewer with influential entertainment, we slowly subconsciously understand subtle messages projected at us and begin to follow them as law. In Joanne Finkelstein's book "The Art of Self Invention," she mentions that "The history of manners is closely intertwined with the rise of the commercial, consumer culture with its new emphasis on fashionability and the transformation of sociability into a transaction" (Finkelstein 81), briefly explaining how a new form of media influenced the way people present themselves and brought about a new way of communication.