Final - In My Room

In My Room 

My project is a series of self portraits entitled “In My Room”. I was inspired by self portrait artist Cindy Sherman’s project entitled “Untitled” released in the 70’s-80’s. As well as contemporary artist Kristen Lewis; she specializes in day in the life photography. Everything in this photo was meant to represent the things I did in my room, or the secrets I kept to myself while in my room, an emotion I felt, or the way I existed by myself, in my room. I want these self portraits to be relatable and real. I think these convey a more emotional and private part of myself that I generally try to not share with others. 

My first self portrait was a clay sculpture inside of a color therapy box. Although they both touch on a more intimate part of myself, they were expressed through different mediums.  My midterm was arts and crafts, this is photography. My midterm involved other materials such as paint, clay, glitter, tape, and string. I changed the way I wanted to convey my self portrait for a few reasons. The first being that I want to be a better photographer for the sake of my art. I feel like I need to be able to express myself in multiple ways to be happy with my work. The first project was just a clay sculpture that went into different details of my life emotionally. I feel like this gives you a more understandable approach towards me because this is visible. 

These changes were actually influenced directly by this class. Usually, I always try and do something closer to arts and crafts, which include lots of separate pieces and a lot of different supplies. This time, I wanted to keep it simple.  In this class we do a lot of talking about identity, and the portrayal of it. In her book, Finklestein says the “power to be and not to be, to detach oneself from oneself, to be oneself and at the same time another,” (61). To me, this meant that I could still be the artist that uses paper and colors and glitter and streamers…. But I could still also be the artist that conveys the same message through just a simple image. I am capable of learning different and new innovative ways to say the same things. And by being able to send these messages about myself in different ways, they each give a little bit more about myself to the audience. 

The spectacle of my project is identity. It is tackled by using a series of stills that depict who I am. My project is only affected truly by how i think I want people to see me. 

As Finkelstein points out,“Such a character values the idea of a ‘core self’ that emanates our ethical best but also understands the necessity of the opposite, namely, being able to invent an identity to suit the fluid character of cosmopolitan life.” (10) I wanted to create or portray myself in a way that was relatable to most people, while still being myself. 

*please open link to see power point in a new window* : Jocelyn Rodriguez Self Portrait Final

Warris In Egypt

This project depicts my name (Warris) in the art of writing in the old Egyptian way. The ancient Egyptians believed that their writings was God's words. They believed that writing was given to them by the great God Thoth. I chose this composition because every word in the ancient Egyption writing tells a story. I choose this composition because there is a religious and cultural background in ancient egypt writing i can relate to. 

I have made my decisions on the project based on the research I have done on the egyption way of writing. As mentioned above not only the artwork speaks to me but the connection to the form of writing being tied to my religion and culture. After doing some research I sketched out the artwork of my name  in pencil then i took more time perfecting my piece making necessary changes and adjustments to tell the story of my name. When all of the main contributions to my piece was done, I used a sharpie to shade in the finishing products. 

I would categorize my work under the art of hieroglyphics. Like the educator Bisa Washington works, I believe that my piece is not just a form of art, it's not just my name. This piece of work includes three important factors in my life. This artwork of my name also has my ethnic cultural and religious background incorporated into it. Therefore if there was an artist I would compare my work to it would be Bisa Washington.  

When the audience look at this work, they see art, they also see a story. On like 21st century writing, my audience don't see Warris but instead they see the story of Warris. 

This project differs from my midterm but yet still they are still somehow connected. My Midterm Portrait showed who is warris as a person what makes up his life etc, but this portrait elaborates on the story of Warris not the person but the name.  

A spectacle is a visually striking performance or display it is usually memorable for the appearance it creates. A spectacle functions through most importantly  social media and internet proliferation. This project exists in the spectacle because it is an ancient way to tell a story, this project is using history to create something in the now .

Night at the Museum

I did not visit the Montclair Museum due to personal issues, however, I was able to visit the MOMA. The exhibits were displayed in order by year 1880’s- 1940’s, 1940’s-1970’s, 1970’s- present. Many of the artists we studied during class were present as well as many of the other innovators of their time periods, some of which I've admired for quite some time outside of this classroom.

Identity is how we are able to make sense of ourselves, and portray that to other people. Figuring out what makes you happy and unique and mentally sound everyday is who you are. So many people in life feel like they have to rush to find out who they are, or what they want to be doing in life. Truthfully, this process does not need to be rushed, it just needs to be expressed properly. Our expression is how we construct our identities. We construct these identities through our relationships and how we are towards others. We have experiences that help us figure out how we feel about things, and then apply them to ourselves and how we deal with things moving forward. These identities are always changing depending on how others see us, and the trends of society, as well as how we see ourselves. 

I was inspired by many of the pieces in the museum. One of the artists displayed, and one of my favorite artists that we’ve studied in class was Cindy Sherman. 

           

        Cindy Sherman released a series of self portraits called “Untitled” in the late 70’s early 80’s. She photographed herself throughout New York City, and in her apartment; using pieces of her own life to tell a story. Her art tackles issues of power, identities, and manners. In her photos she wanted to be seen as In many of her photos she is portrayed as a very proper woman, always very well dressed and very delicate looking. She has a very soft feminine look to her, which as a woman, gives her power over the viewers. I was very intrigued by the fact that these stills were all black and white. This made them look simple and still so captivating. 

The Male Gaze 

         Many of her works were criticized for catering to the “Male Gaze. This was something I witnessed while I was the only woman standing there in a room full of males for quite some time - which is quite unusual for the MOMA. "Fashion products and images deliberately manipulate the gaze to stimulate the pleasure of looking and infuse goods with a sexual charge" (Finkelstein 214). This was however what she wanted. She wanted to be seen as a sexy, city girl. 

Another artist that we studied in class, which is my personal favorite, is Jean - Micheal Basquiat. 

                   

I wish I was rich enough to buy this piece. It was genuinely my favorite piece in the whole museum. I used this one as my proof to say that I went to the library, and that I was ever in its presence. His artwork explores the themes of morality, race, self-identity and religion. In this particular piece you get a look at identity. As a troubled person who was very much into drugs and other vices, his mind seemed to be very crowded at times. Knowing that, this piece stood out to me the most because of how busy it is. Then, the one main piece in the middle is so unique to him, that you would know this was his painting anywhere you went. He chooses to use deep brush strokes and various colors to show you the many parts of who he is. In his work you see letters that look like graffiti which is much of who he is and his style as an artist. His work is very striking overall. 

The next artists that caught my attention was Lady Pink and Jenny Holzer. This painting came about in the 1980’s during a period of social injustice and pleas for reform. The painting reads  “TRUST VISIONS THAT DON’T FEATURE BUCKETS OF BLOOD” in spray paint across a painted canvas. This painting is about the war in Central America during the early 80’s. The people were concerned that President Reagan was giving guns to the wrong people during the war, and they wanted to say what they had to in the most effective way they knew how to at the time. They used their New York flare (graffiti) because during the 80’s it was the most popular emerging art form. This touched a lot on class as well because the artists who made this painting were broke. All the materials used to make this painting were shoplifted or stolen by the artists. This is ironic in a sense because they’re talking about justice while stealing. What intrigued me most was the size of the painting. I feel like it was just as big as it’s message. At the time the artist - Lady Pink - was 15 who just wanted adventure. At 18 years of age this was how she wanted to portray herself. 

Lady Pink & Jenny Holzer
"TRUST VISIONS THAT DON'T FEATURE BUCKETS OF BLOOD"

The artist Jacob Lawrence emerged in Harlem in the late 40’s, from where he drew much of his inspiration. Lawrence took as his subject the exodus of African Americans from the rural South to Northern cities during and after World War I, when industry's demand for workers attracted them in vast numbers. As the son of migrants, Lawrence had a personal connection to the topic. He researched the subject extensively and wrote a matching narrative before ever making the paintings. This showed a two sides of him, the educator and the artist.                        

The next artist was Frida Khalo. Both the pieces on display gave me different emotions. But the one I enjoyed the most was her “Self Portrait With Chopped Hair” oil painting. This painting was made to signify a turning in herself. At this point in time, she redefined herself by cutting her hair off. Something that is very much a part of someone's entire personality.

              

The portrait reads  “Mira que si te quise, fue por el pelo. Ahora que estás pelona, ya no te quiero” which translates to “Look, if I loved you it was because of your hair. Now that you are without hair, I don’t love you anymore". Off first impression, it made me feel like she knew this is exactly what whoever response would be when they saw her with short hair. It legit played like a story in my mind. Artistically, she really showed her personality through composition. She was very straightforward and her use of colors always felt warm. This portrait just hit differently.

My Open Self

The subject of my final self portrait is my interests and the implementation of my newly acquired skills throughout the semester. I'm always very reserved which is why I decided to take an approach which explores my interests and also why I composed a self portrait with so much varying detail. I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and experiment with the different mediums I had at hand rather than just draw or paint my self portrait. If it isn't already clear, I took inspiration from Mickalene Thomas; specifically her use of fabric and patterns in her work. I decided to implement her use of fabrics into my self portrait to cover up many of the blank spaces and add more content to the piece.

Since I'm more confident of my drawing skills than my painting skills I decided that I would sketch my face out on a large sheet of canvas paper. The sketch helped represent the fact that I like drawing and it accurately represented my skill level; at the same time however, I was debating whether I should implement painting elements into the sketch which is why I had everything done on canvas paper. I was originally thinking of painting onto the sketch with soft, possibly dull tones but I also had a completely different idea of using bright colors. There were a lot of clashing ideas like adding dabs of paint randomly onto my sketch, or using thin lines of paint to run throughout the entire self portrait, similar to the way I cut my sketch into different parts. Another hard decision to make was what to do with the blank space that was left around the sketch. I didn't want to paint a background but I still wanted to implement some color into the piece because if I didn't then my self portrait would be a dull black and white.

I didn't want my self portrait to convey a negative or depressing mood which is why I started to think of other ways to add color. I began brainstorming ideas such as cutting out paper from newspapers, magazines, or printouts and taping or gluing them onto the canvas. I wasn't sure if I wanted the self portrait to come off as messy or neat so the material to cover up the canvas sheet was hard to decide on. Ultimately I decided to glue fabric on because I've worked with fabric this semester and prior although I didn't get to sew any of it on which was one of my goals for this assignment because I've had to learn sewing for my painting class and I wanted to implement another one of my skills in this assignment. Moving on though, I chose these specific pieces of fabric because I wanted the color tones to be light and also contrasting. I wanted something that struck the viewer and caught their attention which is also why I used different fabrics rather than just 1.

Something I believe was really important to show in my work was my face being broken apart because I wanted to give the impression that I was being taken apart and analyzed. That's why I placed the spaceships flying out from under me and the dragon popping out of my hair, I wanted it to appear as though some things that were hidden about me before were finally coming out. The cardboard was just used as a support but I didn't want to leave it a bland brown so I painted it black in order to implement another of my skills, painting. I also thought it would be striking against everything else because it would sort of ground everything else with this heavy dark contrast, it acted like a base.

I feel like there has been some major improvement between my final self portrait in comparison to my midterms self portrait because this self portrait makes me push my limits more, I implemented different elements of collage and I feel like this one wasn't as personal as the last project but definitely easier to read. The 1st self portrait I did felt very chaotic and a bit too strong in comparison to this one, it felt like there was too much going on. That's why in my final self portrait I didn't add as much content and I went for a more down to earth design. I was motivated to make a lot of these changes because I wasn't completely satisfied with my first self portrait. My first self portrait was nearly all painting and barely any elements of collage and I wanted to make something that was easier on my eyes. This self portrait feels like it satisfies all the changes I wanted to make and I can see more of myself.

Media has a heavy influence on identity and self presentation because people are easily persuaded and the media presents itself in many ways, shapes and form all around us. The media has taught us many things, one being manners, and another being self awareness. By providing us, the viewer with influential entertainment, we slowly subconsciously understand subtle messages projected at us and begin to follow them as law. In Joanne Finkelstein's book "The Art of Self Invention," she mentions that "The history of manners is closely intertwined with the rise of the commercial, consumer culture with its new emphasis on fashionability and the transformation of sociability into a transaction" (Finkelstein 81), briefly explaining how a new form of media influenced the way people present themselves and brought about a new way of communication.

A life in a Day

The point of my project is to present my day in sounds. I wanted this project to see a rollercoaster or adventure and to experience it all without sight. Taking away one of the senses allows the other sense to heighten and for them to pay attention to what they’re hearing. All the sounds that

I utilized are in my everyday life. I used those sounds to connect the audience to my body and my entire life to further to dimension of the original sound. For example I utilized an explosion from a video game to represent the explosion that happens in my mind when it’s 7 am and I have already experienced this much emotion. But the video game sounds itself represents my family because now my weekends are filled with brothers and nephews who come over my house every weekend and play videos with so much life. It’s a time when my whole family is in one room bonding. They are part of who I am today and who I will grow to be. The video I posted is simply a collage of sounds put together to create these emotions. I also uploaded the poem that goes along. 

The reason I chose to a performance art sensory experience is because last project I created my own art piece. So this time I wanted to create an art piece closer to home. I am a music and English major who grew up writing poetry, even from the beginning when I had no clue what it was. Music is becoming the center of my life and so is sound. I’m learning that certain sounds evoke feeling, certain sounds evoke anxiety and this will forever be apart of my life. So I wanted the class to experience something they may never have before. What also inspired me was when I was in Argentina I went to this event that put a group of people in a dark room, so dark you couldn’t see the person next to you. They then told us there were speakers all around the room and we would experience Queen in a way would never have before. They were right, beyond measures. There is sometime about having a sense taken away that allows you to experience life in a different way. I was inspected by Andy Warhol’s multimedia experience with his band he was managing. In a way Warhol gave his audience sensory overload. But I wanted to heighten certain senses. 

In my opinion this Artwork will take the audience to another place. It will allow the audience to go into my bubble and my world. It may even bring them to their own world because they may be able to connect to certain sounds or certain aspects of my life. I wanted this self portrait to be about me and how everyday worldly things have impacted my life. How I can be here yet, be in another place at the same time. The mind constantly wondering while you’re going through your day. I wanted everyone to see themselves in this self portrait. Which is why the only job the audience has is to listen, because not only are they experiencing life through the sounds but also through my words. I believe the audience will be able to be taken to another world, or be able to be go deeper into their own.  

My first self portrait was about the constant rebirth and death of myself. I too this idea of the female sex organ and expanded what it means to be this sex organ. Showing that as a female at times you are only seen through that organ. But the death was me redefining what it meant to me, showing the beauty and how even though having this organ has caused me pain or our a different lens on my eyes,

it was now time for me to take back that lens, take back that pain, forgive myself and allow this idea

that I have of what if means to hold such a valuable thing to grow. This project is about so much more. It is about how everyday aspects and outside things that I cannot control have got into my bubble and my world and has effected me greatly. At the end of the poem it is the sound of me getting in that train. The sound of me ending my day, but that sound also represents my awakened time. The

Time when I’ve got one of my head and am allow to explore all that is around me. This is the moment I am coming to in life. I still have all these clouded thoughts and emotions but through all that eventually the sky clears and there’s clarity and I can finally be alive, even if it’s just for a moment. There was no defining moment since my midterm until now that inspired this change. But a long moment of growth and spiritual growth as well. I never realized how much sound effected me until I became a music major.

The media has a tight grip on us today. At times I can’t even watch the notes because if I do my mind will run all day about what’s going on in the world. I would never be able to pull myself out of that whole that never ends. The media and public create narratives that they expect you to where 

My project is about what happens when you where those narratives and the feeling or finally digging yourself out. They train can also represent going back home to start this all over again. 

A life in a day 

I would like to say 

I’m not afraid to die 

But fear has been my favorite guy

Can’t even watch the news 

Without wondering if my family will be the next ones to cry 

Then I get. this bubbling feeling 

Rupturing the lining if my tummy 

Darkness comes over my thoughts 

And my heart beat starts feeling funny 

Trying to check my pulse but those cpr classes did nothing 

No worries

That is not my death 

Just my mind exploding 

As my heart spills out my chest

That sound

Is not from the tears I cry

I don’t even feel those well up in my

Eyes 

That is how my anxiety trickles 

Feeling

Me up 

Until I can’t keep the lid on

You want to know

About me 

Well ask that bitch 

She’s got the best view of everything I dismiss 

She’s never hear now 

But always there in the future 

The present doesn’t give her a break 

It just makes me want to use her

Then there’s excess 

Just so much excess 

So much overflow 

Anxiety going everywhere 

But you all will never know 

It’s like I’m drowning

Yet I’m still alive 

I can’t breathe 

But there’s life in

My eyes 

I take a step 

Then the next one too 

Next thing you know 

I’m walking home from school 

Taking my time 

Because 

Those beautiful sirens

Although misery in ones eyes 

Keeps me alive

I remember there’s a world outside the bubble where I reside 

With the lights on now I can no longer be in disguise 

For however long it last..

I will allow myself to live until I die 

I Get Out ~Auntie LoLo

African Queen

     For my self-portrait final project, I decided to make myself the subject. I was inspired by a couple of artists while designing my painting. First I would say Frida Kahlo played a role in me using myself as the subject twice, first for the midterm and now for the final. Frida Kahlo always uses her face in her paintings and paints herself in different eras of her life. Cindy Sherman is another influence when it comes to me using my face as the subject. Cindy Sherman plays around with photography and always captures herself dressed up or disguised as a character or portraying something going on in society. Lastly, Mickalene Thomas was another amazing artist who inspired me to use my face as the subject of my painting. Mickalene's paintings represent the unrepresented African American women when it comes to art, being that I am an African American woman, why not use myself. The only difference between me and Mickalene's subject is the fact that she paints women in her life that are important to her that represents her in her painting.

Kehinde Wiley inspired my outfit, hair, and background in this painting. Kehinde Wiley's absent father is from West Africa, so he tends to incorporate his roots in his paintings in search of his identity. Both of my parents are from West Africa but I still feel a disconnect from my background and roots being that I never actually been to Nigeria. I understand the language my parents speak but cannot actually speak it myself, so to relate to someone who is from where I am from will be hard. The media can affect identity when it comes to this issue because the trend is something everybody always wants to follow. So if your culture was not popular, your interest was not there when it comes to learning and finding out more about it. I wanted to incorporate African prints to bring out my African roots, I did this by cutting up a piece of cloth called Ankara and gluing it onto the paintings. The roots and vibrant background was also inspired by Kehinde Wiley.

     

     The three symbols I chose was my mom, a grad cap, and a phoenix. I chose my mom because she is my everything, she keeps me on track and is always there whenever I need her. I added a grad cap to represent my journey of undergrad and speak my graduation to existence especially coming off of probation and using my last semester two semesters to prove to myself that I can push through. The phoenix represents me starting a new chapter of being more aware and conscious of my actions.

     

Don’t look now

The artwork I choose is made by Barbara Kruger. The subject of her painting is “Don’t look now”. In herpainting, a woman put her hand over her eyes, and she looks like refuse to see something. The reason why I choose this painting is that I find there’s some similar things between the women in the picture and me. If the subject of my midterm self-portrait is focus on the feeling of the past, the subject of my final self-portrait is my expectations for the future. 

My self-portrait is a kind of collage. All the components of it are cut from magazines. The woman stands on the stairs. She looks well-dressed and confidence, but she refuses to look herself in the mirror. There are several words in my self-portrait: “The Escape” and “Don’t look now”. The spectacle is the social phenomena which affect us. As Joanne Finkelstein quoted In “Art of Self Invention”, Joanne Finkelstein said that “To participate in society, we cultivate a public persona, a manner of being in the world that works to sustain our engagements with others…the ubiquity of deception in popular culture is an invitation to consider the possibility that behind the surface of appearances these are other realities.”(Page 2) The woman in my self-portrait is well-dressed because she wants to package herself and recognized by other people. If people only judge her from her exterior, she must be a confident person with a happy life. "Considered in its own terms, the spectacle is an affirmation of appearances and an identification of all human social life with appearances.” It is what Guy Debord quoted from the theory of "the Spectacle. The spectacle influences our behavior. The result could be either positive or negative. In my mind, the media has a negative influence on us rather than the positive side. Such as we want to buy a bag because of one advertisement, but we don’t really need that. It is impulse buying and sometimes we just want to compare ourselves with others in this way. People are performing an ideal life influenced by society. My project addresses the spectacle by illustrating that if we ignore the influence of the social media and ignore the real need from our heart, we will always just pretend to have a great life and never achieve the real happiness. She creates a perfect external image for herself, but why she’s still refuses to look at herself and wants to escape? 

Perhaps we never know ourselves. The woman refuses to see herself in the mirror because she’s dissatisfied with herself. She pretends her life is great is because she’s not that happy. The thing that people pretend they have is always the thing that they lack most. She wants to escape the life she has and intends to create a new life page. However, except the change of exterior, she doesn’t do anything to make her heart happy, that’s the reason why she wants to escape. “Don’t look now” shows the women’s expectations for the future. People always look forward to the future and forget the present. We always think that everything will be better in the future, but we refuse to make any changes now. What we forget is the present is the future of the past. Can we today fulfill the expectations of we yesterday? There are always so many tomorrows. If we don’t take any action, we could only stamp on the same ground and wait for tomorrow. This is what my life is like. I want to tell myself that I should faceup to my heart and look the real me in the mirror. Look it now instead of waiting. At least I should be better than yesterday.

The way we see it

The subject of my project is me and myself fighting society’s norms. It shows myself and other objects that replace certain parts of my body, mind and thoughts. There’s different fruits, sceneries, flowers and colors to show the reality of life and the gender norms placed on society. I changed some body parts to show that anything can be seen as normal if we allow ourselves to not look at the “sceptical”. I cut out my body parts such as head, arms, hands and legs to show a different way women can be seen. Also, I show myself with straight hair and natural hair to portray either way to wear hair is beautiful. I use a lot of green because it depicts nature, growth, renewal and rebirth of my thoughts, the way I see the world and myself. I wrapped some sides in yarn to show positive changes that I made with myself and my place in society. Any other funky fabrics and glitter I used was just to add some life and color. 

The choices I made to insert certain fruits and objects in replacement of the human body was to show the way society wants things to how they can really be. I knew exactly the parts of the body I wanted to portray such as female arms replaced with male arms that are muscular. My choice to do this is to show that having muscular arms and stepping out of gender norms is completely okay. The choices I made with my piece were meant to portray two different worlds. The process of deciding how I wanted to show society norms and the reality of it was complicated to me. I knew at first I wanted to make a collage of body parts and replace them with different unique or fun objects. I needed to have a deeper meaning and connect this to something. Since we have been talking about the spectacle I thought why not show how people expect things to look to how they can really look despite societal norms. I knew I wanted pictures of myself to show how I felt about my hair and what society thought of the “fro”. So I started off with printing out pictures in black and white as well as colors. I found different fabrics and textured stuff to put around the pictures to create some life to it. Plus I love a funky feel to my artwork. I made the decision to keep some pictures in black and white so the viewer can feel that there are two different themes and meanings to the piece. To me I would categorize my work as a collage being as though I took different images and pieces making them into one thing. I would compare my work to Miklane Thomas. She has influenced me throughout this entire course and was also my muse for my midterm project as well. Her work shows real women with their own unique history, beauty and background. She works to diversify the representations of black women in art. 

This self portrait should convey the idea of stepping out of gender norms. It should convey that anything can be normal if we don’t think about societies views on it. Some differences between my first self portrait and this one is the collage feel to it. My first portrait was based on my nature hair while this project is based on societal norms. I do incorporate a part of my hair that has to do with how people think females should wear their hair. I feel more confident with this project as well. I was influenced to change the direction of my project because of the topic of the “skeptical” that we have been discussing in class. 

Media influences identity and self presentation by showing us the most popular items or things used in society today. They spam us with good looking models and expensive items. This allows us to feel like we need them or need to look like what media shows us. If we see a famous person wear something we like we’re more obligated to get it because we see it on someone popular. Media allows people to see what people have and how people act. We’re either influenced by it or we aren’t. The spectacle is the result of capitalism since we are continually expanding new items and taking a stab at the most recent trends. The spectacle is something that everyone is chasing to achieve which constructs their identity. My project is shaped around the spectacle and how we see ourselves with was it deemed normal. I wanted to show that we don’t need to have straight hair or wear certain things. We can be ourselves and still feel great. 

Thanks Mom

For my final project I wanted to focus on the person that actually made me- my mom. My mom not only made me, but she helped to indirectly construct the person I am today and so that’s why I chose her as my subject.

The inspiration behind the composition of my image is the lady holding up the scale of justice. I made that choice because I felt it best portrayed the image I wanted to show in my head. In terms of the process, I used acrylic paint and painted most of the piece; a piece of fabric to pin to represent the dress, and a craft object to use as the crown. I made those decisions based on what was most suitable for my idea.

For this project I used inspiration from Carrie Mae Weems, not in terms of her techniques but in terms of her idea behind her kitchen table series. In this series she shows a mom doing something and the child following that. So, for my project, the things my mom went through and overcame enabled me to have different perspectives in different areas of my life.

Despite the use of a piece of fabric I would still categorize my work as a painting. I would hope that my project converts the strength of a woman and even community to my viewers.

 In my image the woman is being weighed down by certain baggage on one hand whilst trying to be uplifted by some other scales in the opposite hand. The items depicted in the baggage that are weighing her down depicts the struggles my mom faced. Each of these struggles taught me a lesson and influenced me to go about things differently. In the same way, the things that were there to uplift her influenced me in that some of those things are in my life right now.

At the bottom of the image is two hands, used to represent community. There's a Guyanese proverb that says  “hand wash hand mek hand come clean." This means that we can help each other out to make things easier for each of us. It just the importance of support. My mom received great support and assistance from those around her. In turn, we were all a family. Today, it’s enabled me to know the value of correction. I’m that older cousin who is always trying to lead my younger family members in the right direction.

The spectacle is like a propaganda, it is everywhere in everyday objects and images trying to convince us of an issue, a change that we don't necessarily need to make, and trying to promote ideas that don't necessarily help us. If my project was to exit in the spectacle I believe it would be in terms of single motherhood. It would either try to convince my mom of things that she 'needs' so that she can survive with two children, or it would shine the spotlight mostly on the absence of my father.

The difference between my midterm project and my final would be my techniques, as well as process.

Besides that they still both represent me. Although, my midterm may have done so a bit more directly.

My mom

Carrie Mae Weems, The Kitchen Table series

'MOM'

Different moods, same person

For my final project, I decided to take my own spin on a typical self portrait painting. As someone who typically goes through vigorous mood swings and different feelings, I decided to bring that to light. My mood swings are something I usually do not share because of my ability to manage them and bring a front to society. On the inside I may be feeling depressed, angry, sad, or even happy, but I don’t always portray my moods. The subject of my self portrait is me with colors to represent my different moods and symbols for those moods. I decided creating this piece was a good way to cancel out my suppressed emotions and just let them flow. My painting is similar to Frida Khalo’s “Henry Ford Hospital”. In Khalo’s painting she is portraying her different moods in an environment where she struggles. My portrait gives the sense of emotion to the audience. You see my head floating with all the different moods and feelings I may have. The point of the piece is to express emotions in different ways. My midterm project focused on more of a materialistic part of my life. I focused on the things that make me and the building blocks of my life. This project is me emotionally. It is who I am and how I feel. I wanted to give a new perspective of myself, to show that I am more than just the things that make me. I have emotions and feelings that I tend to get really in tune with. The media and imagines influences self presentation because we want society to envy us. We want to fit in and make it seem as if we are a cooperating member of society. We want society to see us in a certain light, but not the accurate light. The spectacle is everything in society other than people and how it influences us. My project uses symbolism to portray the spectacle. We associate different things with emotions and that is the spectacle in full force.

Blossoming Into Self: Final Self-Portrait

For my final self portrait, I used acrylic paint on a blank canvas to create what I call "Blossoming Into Self". This year, I have been on a journey to find myself and my purpose to the world. It has been a struggle, but I feel like I am finally getting somewhere. My painting is inspired by nickname "Iris" which holds several meanings. 

The purple iris flower represents my outer self. It's primary significance is faith, hope, wisdom, and courage. "Iris" is also Greek for rainbow and the rainbow in my painting represents queerness. On the far right, I included my sun (Virgo), moon (Gemini), and rising sign (Capricorn). 

48

 48 Laws of power is the concept I used to create this short film. I wanted to use this book because I feel a connection with and find it to be useful. This has became very influential. my love for the book is the reason I wanted to use it for my final. I wanted to emphasize on a law about it. Theres 48 laws but there was one I wanted to act out through a situation. that law is do not commit to anyone. The book quotes “ a fool is the one who rushes to chooses a side. Mastering independence of self you become the master of others.” it shows the importance of patience with yourself before someone takes you upon there time. its as if they sped up your pace. Only a fool is quick to pick a side. These Laws are based on years of knowledge and stories from kings, queens, rulers, and etc. I created a scene that was about stocks. Me being a investor, a stock broker comes to me and convinces me to buy a stock right away. I take the time to evaluate myself, my values and the stock itself before I make the commitment despite the stock brokers expertise. The way that I evaluate myself and my values is through talking with my assistant. My assistant gives me a review of my company an My inspirations come from Basquiat and Ana Mendieta. Basquiat was very political and Ana Mendieta used herself and recorded herself with video. That was my inspiration to create a video starring myself of using this law of power. In the law of Self Invention it quotes “in such a universe, individuals learn to think strategically, in order to gain advantage”. Once I saw this concept, I wanted to replicate it because it is a form of art. Thinking strategically can help you win at anything and I truly believe that. I always been the one to think strategically. When it came to basketball, my analyzation and observation skills were extremely detailed. It’s as if I was seeing things that wasn't there. When it came to fashion, the way people mixed colors together, wore different fabrics, dressed in different styles gave me ideas that would transform a concept into my own. When It came to socializing, you find yourself in many situations. I compare socializing to politics in a way, in the way of navigating through people. You have friends, best friends ,relationships, acquaintances and its important to know how to still remain you through all of those influences. I truly look at it as an art form. I became this way of strategic thinking is from my experience of losing. Losing in sports, getting rejected, and etc. I don’t blame others when I lose in whatever situation I’m in. I always look to see how I can improve my result overtime. When I would play basketball and lose, I would try and figure out the long term and short term effects of why a lose was the ending result. Losing  hurts a lot when you are confused, but it takes those moments of confusion to figure out first hand what you need to do to win. When your reason of losing is figured out, you can start  to focus on what you can do to win and what you can do to prevent losing.
I think a common interpretation of this Law is that it pertains strictly to money. That is the incorrect interpretation of what this truly means. The wrongful interpretation would think that this law would mean don’t commit to absolutely anything which is wrong. I do understand some of the greats like Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, all committed something but they were aligned with their values at the moment. It all focuses on the time and space that they were in to be able to execute their commitment to their degree of impact and recognition.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18gWt59HMNWYh2fb-jmMtMd4IEx0rWZEW/view?usp=drivesdk