Midterm Self Portrait: Breaking the Static

The subject for my self-portrait is a television with flowers growing out of the cracked screen. When exploring my identity I found myself stuck on the question who am I? In this world of social media and the internet, there is pressure for young people to know their know exactly who they are or know their “brand”. For me when I was thinking of who I am the image of the noise on a television screen kept playing in my head. Then with that idea, I got inspired by a sculptor called Nam June Paik who is most known for using televisions as his medium and being the father of video art. I used the television as a way to represent multimedia and the influence it has on me. The flowers breaking through the television screen are used to bring a positive message that I am still growing and that I believe identity is something that should come naturally rather than be constructed. I also find the juxtaposition of nature versus technology shown through the flowers and television is interesting. I wanted to show that even though I am someone who gets anxiety from how overwhelming the world can be I can overcome it and not let that fear hold me back from figuring out who I am and who I want to be. 

In my self-portrait, I was inspired by Mickalene Thomas and how she uses crafting materials for her work. I really liked the idea of how you can just make art by using materials you can get in Michael’s. I used blank notebook paper as the surface of the tv to represent how I am still figuring out who I am and I am still filling the pages of my life. I used the cover of the composition notebook as the screen because of how the black and white pattern on it looks like television noise. I painted over the notebook cover because I wanted to incorporate color but made sure you can still see the notebook cover through it. Then I used googly eyes as the buttons for the television to portray how in this world of social media I feel as though all eyes are on me and it creates anxiety of failure. The idea that people are always watching puts pressure to put on this mask that everything is great because of the fear of being judged if I fail or if my life isn’t going exactly to plan. I used pipe cleaners as the plants because of how they were easy to manipulate and have a fuzzy texture in contrast to the smooth surface of the notebook paper. 

For the composition, I wanted the viewers’ eyes to travel, from the cracked screen upward. I did that by using the curvilinear lines of the flower’s stems to grow upward from the cracked television screen. I also put the notebook paper vertically to help create movement upwards. This self-portrait represents me because it expresses my worries of figuring at the same time while at the same time expressing my hope and determination to overcome my fear of failing to understand who I am.