The subject of my image is object of desire, under construction. This means my identity is being destroyed and reconstructed at the same time. I am not equip to tell you who I am exactly, but I am introspective enough to explain how I feel about myself and how is the process I am going through to build or unlock the person I want to be.
The content that I want to bring forward with this art is the idea death and rebirth. Due to the life I have lived over my past 22 years I have come to see myself under the title as "Object of desire". The vagina is a staple in society, in a way it has turned into a object to capitalize off of. It is used to make money in so many different aspects of life, often times without the vagina itself even being seen. I, a female, feel as though people gravitate towards me due to the idea of how they see me. My whole life I have been told what I am and what I am not, just fit into another persons idea of me. But it is never the truth of who I am, once they realize I cannot meet their standards I am no longer needed. But what is left are those ideas, every word they said is left. Then over however long it takes I must become introspective and take pieces of my identity away that were given to me, and also add pieces that work for me. I must allow myself to be as vulnerable as the rose pedals that lie as the lips of the vagina, in order to understand myself as no one else can. The water flowing through the stem of the vagina symbolized life, recreating to give the inner me life yet also dying at the fingers of a shredder, because life must die in order to give birth to new life. Which is why there is dirt around the shredder, this symbolized how life still grows as it dies. Fertilizing and giving new beginnings to ideas and identities. The vines are green, brown and blue, meaning, life(blue), fertilization/growth(brown) and green for the vines that the flowers must grow on. Every flower must grow on a vine or branch, it must come from somewhere, the green is society, experiences, coming down to recreate something new. The seeds fall from the vines into the dirt to start over. This is why the title also says, under construction till.. because this formation will never end. Some ideas will stay forever and others will die in order for a new idea to come to life. The background colors of yellow and red symbolize the cycle of rebirth and death which is why it is done in an ombre. The last part is the blackness in the middle, it symbolizes enablitable change, the idea of not knowing what's to come. But its centered in the middle of all this beauty and also is hidden by it. It is what makes this picture tick, it is what will keep the cycle of life and death going. It is also behind the beauty because it is the one thing no one, not even myself can understand so it must be hidden and protected.
I have always struggled with my identity so when it came to choosing what would represent me I had to choose a concrete idea. Something that wouldn't change. I have had the idea of "Object of desire" in my head for a couple of weeks and thought it fit this project perfectly. I said to myself I don't know who I am but, I know how I've been made to feel about me. I knew I wanted to draw something with the female sex organ due to the fact that this idea of what a female should be solely based off of that one body part has played a huge role in my life, and I was taught this through many outlets. But one thing I realized is that through all my experiences it has built me up to the person I am today and even though I cannot explain who that is I can show how I got here. Which is through introspective work that creates death and rebirth, which also creates and understanding in my experiences and allows me to appreciate all the good and the bad.
I love this image because it will intrigue the viewers at first. The female sex organ is a commodity that intrigues many. I am not sure what the viewers will think because I am unsure of what to think, but I do know it will make them think. They may just see a vagina and think I am showing how beautiful it is. But with the context of this being a "self portrait" who knows where their mind will wonder.
The artist Ana Mendieta truly influenced me the most with this piece. It is mainly her connection with her self and her body. Through her artwork you can tell Mendieta was truly an introspective person. I believe her art was what helped her recreate this death and rebirth of her identity and what she had gone through in life.
I used mainly acrylic paint because i liked the consistency and that it could add texture to the art which was truly important to me. I also used flowers and sued them on because i wanted a 3D aspect to the art and also something to give the audience to feel. Since the lips is one of the most important parts of the artwork, it needed to be emphasized.
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